Sexual Sins: God’s Design, Boundaries and Restoration

God created sexuality as a good and powerful gift, to be enjoyed within the protection of His design. This article considers what the Bible teaches about sexual sin, why its consequences are so devastating, and how God offers forgiveness, cleansing and purity to everyone who turns back to Him.

God’s Design and Protection

Outside a marriage commitment, sex will likely destroy a relationship through degrading human beings into objects to be used for a person’s own gratification or in a manner not endorsed by God; yet within a loving marriage, with the right attitude, sex will strengthen a relationship as love is expressed in this intimate way. Sex can be likened to a fire – in a properly designed fireplace it is a blessing but in the middle of the lounge floor it isn’t! What has the potential for immense blessing and good also has the potential for enormous hurt and problems. God’s standard is one man, and one woman committed to each other in marriage until separated by death (and not divorce).

God created sexuality for our pleasure and procreation, and gave restrictions to protect us, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord”. Sexual sins are so detrimental to us because our body is meant to be the residence of the Holy Spirit, so “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor 6:13,18-19). Satan has caused humanity to degrade one of the greatest pleasures God gave, yet we can’t rebel against what God says without experiencing devastating consequences.

Sex has guidelines – do I observe them?

Joseph literally ran from a potentially compromising situation, the sexual advances of a woman (Gen 39:6-15). Sex before and outside marriage, besides all perversions, degrades what God created as good by substituting warped, devil-inspired, humanistic ways that bring emotional and spiritual scarring (often with physical repercussions too), which combine to wound and potentially destroy those who indulge. Thus, the consequences of sexual misconduct are more devastating than other forms of sin.

Several Partners: Widely Accepted, Yet Contrary to God’s Design

Surveys of Western society consistently indicate the majority of people have had several sexual partners over the course of their life. Serial relationships are so common they are treated as normal – even a rite of passage – with each new relationship entered and exited as casually as a series of trials. Yet the popularity of a practice has never established its rightness: what the majority does merely reveals how far humanity has drifted from its Maker, not what He approves. Culture may have rewritten the expectation, but God’s design has not changed – one man and one woman, joined as “one flesh”, totally and exclusively committed for life (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:4-6).

Every additional partner contradicts that design. Scripture says the person who unites with another becomes “one flesh” with them (1 Cor 6:16), sometimes described as a ‘soul tie’ – a bond God intended for one lifelong marriage, not a chain of broken connections. Each new partner leaves behind memories, comparisons and wounds that progressively diminish the capacity for the complete intimacy, trust and permanence marriage was designed to give. The physical consequences compound the emotional ones: disease, unplanned pregnancies, fatherless children, and a trail of hurt partners. There is no such thing as an inconsequential sexual relationship – each one either builds God’s design or erodes it.

Is my relationship history God’s design – or the world’s?

Perhaps you are reading this aware that your own past includes several partners. God does not excuse what has been, but neither does He write anyone off. The Samaritan woman Jesus met had had five husbands and was living with another man, yet He engaged her graciously and offered her “living water” (Jn 4:16-26); to the woman caught in adultery He said, “Neither do I condemn you… go now and leave your life of sin” (Jn 8:10-11). What matters is not where you have been, but where you are heading: genuine repentance, God’s full forgiveness and cleansing (1 Jn 1:9), and faithfulness from this moment forward – including complete commitment to your current or future spouse. God specialises in restoring those the world counts as damaged goods.

The Consequences of Sexual Sin

Those who practice any form of sexual perversion or sexual sin are condemned by God, and will not enter heaven unless there is genuine repentance and turning from it (1 Cor 6:9-10; Gal 5:19-21; 1 Thes 4:3; Heb 13:4; Rev 21:8, 22:15). “God does not listen to the prayers of those who flout His commands” except those of repentance that result in a changed lifestyle (Prov 15:8, 28:9; Jn 6:37, 9:31). Praise God for the blood of Jesus that cleanses from past sin when there is a turning from sin to God (Isa 55:7; 1 Jn 1:9). The Bible says those who engage in illegal sexual acts are foolishly short-sighted, because doing so will bring untold heartache and end in ruin (Prov 5:3-7:27). It is impossible to sin and get away with it – there are consequences to all we do.

Sex in any form outside of marriage always hurts someone and is wrong even if our culture accepts it. It hurts God as it shows we would rather follow our desires than the Word of God. It hurts others by adversely affecting the commitment that is so vital to relationships. It hurts the individual often with disease and blighting of the personality. So-called sexual freedom brings those who indulge into slavery to their own desires, as it involves putting self-gratification before another’s well-being and violates their self-worth (2 Pet 2:19). Sin in the sexual realm has tremendous power to destroy families, communities and even nations.

Do I need to repent of some sins?

Sex slaves (either male or female) are manipulated or forced into being ‘objects’ for immoral people to fulfil their sexual urges. Obeying the fleshly urges in defiance of His directives negatively alters our relationship with God and between those involved, having the power to destroy physically and spiritually, devastating lives and ruining families. Why sacrifice the long-term benefits of doing things God’s way for momentary gratification, as there can be no lasting satisfaction outside God’s boundaries? He asks the question, ‘Why call me Lord, and don’t do what I say?’ (Lk 6:46).

Purity of Heart and Mind

His standards challenge our desires, even though they may not get beyond creating fantasies in our thoughts. We are to train ourselves to be godly; “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl” (Job 31:1; Mt 5:27,28; 1 Tim 4:7). Sexual purity should be the hallmark of the Christian community, whereas sexual indulgence is typical behaviour of those not living in close relationship to Christ (Rom 13:13-14; Eph 5:3; 1 Tim 4:12).

Righteousness is a condition of the heart

The Bible says we should not associate with anyone who calls themselves a Christian who is living immorally, yet this instruction does not apply to those who are unbelievers and living immorally (1 Cor 5:9-11). Our bodies must be offered in servitude to righteousness, "as living sacrifices…putting to death…sexual immorality” (Rom 12:1; Col 3:5).

Reflection and Application:

Ask God to search your heart and show you any sexual sin from which you need to repent.
Make a covenant with your eyes: decide in advance what you will watch, read and think about.
Like Joseph, identify your most likely compromising situation and plan now how you will flee from it.
If your past includes several sexual partners, bring it to God in repentance, receive His forgiveness, and commit to complete faithfulness from this day forward.