Sex: God's Design for Love, Marriage and Purity

Sex was God's idea — a precious gift designed to be enjoyed within the security of marriage and treated with reverence. This article explores His design for intimacy, the call to purity before marriage, and faithfulness within it.

God's Design for Intimacy in Marriage

God created males and females with different physical and emotional qualities, besides differing yet complementary roles and functions in life. Sexual union, when two people ‘become one flesh', is an integral part of His plan for strengthening the marriage bond as well as having children (Gen 1:27-28, 2:24, 3:16; Mt 19:5-6).

A gift from God

Within marriage, sexual intercourse should take place regularly — for mutual enjoyment, to satisfy in-built God-given desires and strengthen both partners against outside temptation, besides the procreation of children. This loving act must still operate within wholesome guidelines, and what goes on in the privacy of the bedroom is special to the husband and wife and should not be shared with others in any form.

Reserved for Marriage Alone

When a couple enter into sex it is more than just a physical act — a bonding or soul-tie relationship is formed; therefore its proper practice is reserved for the marriage relationship only. Marriage should be held in high respect, and kept pure, for God will judge all those who are immoral (Prov 18:22; 1 Cor 6:13; Heb 13:4). God does not condone casual sexual alliances entered into with anyone or everyone.

Do not misuse this gift of God

For those unmarried, now is the time to develop respect and responsibility for others, besides keeping unrelenting control on the input that is fed into the mind. Loving God should always be our highest priority in life and throughout the process of clarifying who will be our future life partner, the emphasis should be on discovering the character of the other person through the uniting of spirits and souls, without “even a hint of sexual immorality" (Eph 5:3). Sexual purity, both male and female virginity as the outcome of abstinence, is one of the greatest virtues you can bring into a marriage.

Guarding the Marriage Relationship

Marrying does not solve the problem of unrestrained sexual desires. ‘Making love' is actually only a small segment of life, but tenderness, companionship, satisfaction and love should continually characterise the marriage relationship. A husband is to be faithful to his wife, letting her love alone be his delight (Prov 5:15-23).

Keep the fires of romance burning

Keep the fires of romance burning with spontaneous non-sexual affection. Both single and married people should keep their passions under control, for the area of sexual promiscuity and undisciplined thoughts is a major cause of people sinning.

Reflection and Application:

Thank God for the gift of sexual intimacy and commit to honouring His design.
Guard the input into your mind — entertainment, images and thoughts that fuel impurity.
If single, pursue purity and character growth; if married, invest in romance, tenderness and faithfulness.
Where you have fallen short, seek God's forgiveness and His grace to begin again (1 Jn 1:9).