This is an enjoyable, heart-connection experience of being in the company of another, opening  ourselves to each other, without regard for the time expended; it is a two-way relationship involving transparency and vulnerability, often through words and physical contact. Intimacy can be expressed as ‘in-to-me-see’ - not involving facts and formalities, rather the heart’s passion in which the focus is unhurried togetherness. Through open communication, we are enriched with increased emotional wellbeing and security because of the personal association. Any fear of rejection is replaced by trust and goodwill. We determine the degree of connection we have with others and especially the Lord who is always reaching out to us.

For Christians intimacy with God should be our first and greatest priority and ongoing life’s goal. He is a Spirit and thus to be intimate with Him we need to connect our spirit to His. Worship exposes ourselves to God, and as we

We determine how close we get to Jesus

encounter Him we are changed. Through Bible study/meditation and communing prayer, besides being conscious of His presence with us during the day and living uprightly, we nurture that close connection to ‘the vine’ for it is only then life can flow and fruit come (Jn 15:4,5). The Holy Spirit within us can easily be offended by wrongdoing, so when we sin we lose the conscious awareness with God’s presence and hand on our lives (Gen 3:6-8; Ps 5:4; Ezek 39:23,24). Maybe I need to rekindle the fervour of the first love I had for Jesus, when I became a Christian and only wanted to be in His presence. What am I prepared to give up to reach, restore and retain close intimacy with God? Although our ministry and efforts for His Kingdom are important, He would rather we give Him our heart first (2 Cor 8:5).

On the human level although physical intercourse with your spouse is considered the ultimate state of intimacy, emotional closeness should typify your marriage through ‘oneness’ of heart at all times, not just in the bedroom. Our marriage partner is to be the only one who knows us in the sexual context. Children should receive affectionate closeness and bonding from birth to develop healthy self-esteem with this non-sexual family closeness continuing through life. Do people observe us as a couple or family in love with each other, or just putting up with the situation and no real connection between the different members?

With friends, both within and outside the Kingdom of God, caution and wisdom must be exercised in the physical demonstration of intimacy. Many have fallen into moral sin through unwise association and being in compromising situations. Solid boundaries of integrity with children and those of the opposite sex must not be breached. Soul ties are ungodly mental connections.

Know and keep within the boundaries God gives us

It is as we reach out and touch Jesus we are made whole. The church has sought gifts, ministry and experiences but missed Jesus. We receive the promises from God through Jesus (Act 2:33).

See also: bonding, boundaries, connection, immorality, integrity, love, marriage, relationships, soul ties.