Tension: Handling Pressure, Biblical Tension and Unanswered Prayer

Tension touches every life — in the pressure we feel, the truths we hold, and the prayers that seem to go unanswered. This article looks at three faces of tension and how God invites us to respond to each of them.

1. Anxiety

Pressure, the expectations of others, increased responsibility and stepping outside our comfort zone can all produce tension, inner turmoil, worry and a lack of peace. This is when we need to guard our reactions, because our self is not being ministered to. As interpersonal relationships can suffer and become strained, be generous with forgiveness and tolerance. Can I identify with David, who said, “I wrestle with my thoughts” (Ps 13:2)?

“When I am afraid [stressed], I will trust in you” – Psalm 56:3

The solution is to “Be still, and know that I am God” and to let the peace of God rule in your heart, for the Spirit-controlled mind has peace (Ps 46:10; Rom 8:6; Phil 4:7; Col 3:15). “In my anguish I cried to God, and He set me free, for He is my helper” (Ps 118:5-7). As we commit our way to God a true perspective is gained: “My times are in His hands,” and what we have committed to Him He is well able to preserve (Ps 31:15, 37:5; Prov 3:5-6; 2 Tim 1:12).

Tension is often the result of trying to achieve something without consciously including God on our team. Those who hope in Him will rise above the pressures: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfastly focused on you” (Isa 26:3; Isa 40:31; Lam 3:25-26; Rom 15:13; 2 Thes 3:16). There is often stress from the conflict between good and evil, yet this tension should press us closer to God for His release (Rom 7:14-23). Don’t try to carry your burdens alone. Jesus invites, “Come to me… and I will give you rest,” and Peter reinforces, “Cast your cares on God” (Ps 55:22; Mt 11:28-30; 1 Pet 5:7). It is for us to involve Him; He won’t force Himself into our situation or assume control without our permission.

Release tension appropriately, and certainly without physical or verbal abuse. Begin by confronting and constructively addressing the problem; be proactive in finding solutions; and implement planning to prevent similar occurrences, since prior planning — including considering scenarios where things might not go to plan — eliminates many stresses. Often just taking the first steps in a potentially stressful task reduces the anxiety, as mental capacity is then focused on the actual task rather than on worrying about possible problems.

Engaging in wholesome physical activity is a good way to reduce tension, calm the nerves and gain a true perspective, as excess and unrelenting stress adversely affects physical, spiritual, mental and emotional health. So, too, is praying and entrusting the outcomes to our God, who is able to do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).

What is the right way for me to cope with anxiety?

2. Biblical Tension

In theology, this is when two strong (Biblical) truths seem to contradict one another, yet with a counterbalancing belief inherent in the opposing view. Since they both exist in Scripture, there can be no ultimate conflict; an attempt must be made to resolve the apparent conflicts with a healthy balance and appreciation of the complete picture. The contrasting passages provide far deeper insights and a complete understanding of Biblical truth that is rarely valid in isolation — a statement being true in its relationship to other truths and less than true when separated from them. Fixating on only one viewpoint, or attempting to remove all the uncomfortable tensions in the Christian faith, will end in error. Strive to find the true Godly balance.

Search for the balanced truth

However, there is no opportunity for opposing viewpoints on the fundamentals of Biblical truth (such as in the Apostle’s Creed). Some of the clear foundational non-negotiable truths that do not have another angle supported by Scripture include: the need for repentance and the requirement to live a godly life; salvation can’t be earned (it is only because of the blood of Christ); the eternal blessing of those who are believers; and the eternal doom of those who reject the only means of salvation.

Many other doctrines produce controversy and have birthed denominations that celebrate many unique distinguishing perspectives while all claiming to soundly teach the same Word of God. Adherents hold to certain ‘positions’ which they believe to be ‘sounder’, yet these have too often been the cause of division — believers trampling on each other and defaming the Name of Christ.

Some examples of tension within Christianity are between:

God’s sovereignty and human responsibility. God works all things together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28), yet we are also told to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil 2:12-13; 1 Pet 2:22). While God is a loving heavenly Father who showers grace on us, He is also a God of justice who expects us to live by His truth, not continuing in sin so we can receive more grace (Jn 1:17, 8:7; Rom 6:1-4).
Truth versus grace. Both come from God and meet perfectly in Christ, who was “full of grace and truth” (Jn 1:14,17), yet we tend to emphasise one at the expense of the other. Truth without grace becomes harshness and condemnation that crushes people; grace without truth becomes soft sentimentality that never confronts sin or calls for change. We are told to “speak the truth in love” (Eph 4:15), so that honesty about sin is always wrapped in mercy and a genuine desire to restore. Jesus modelled this balance with the woman caught in adultery: “Neither do I condemn you” — grace — “go now and leave your life of sin” — truth (Jn 8:3-11).
Confronting sin versus overlooking it. Knowing when to lovingly confront sin in another and when to overlook it, all the while praying the Holy Spirit will bring conviction. A matter specifically forbidden in Scripture needs addressing in the life of a fellow believer; where the Bible is not specifically clear, consider it a matter of conscience (although it may be appropriate to bring it to the person’s attention if others are being adversely influenced); and if it is against us personally, consider it an opportunity for our flesh to die (Prov 19:11; Mt 18:15-17; 1 Pet 4:8).
Positional and experiential sanctification. How God sees us through the blood of Christ as a saint, and the daily experience of being a sinner in the process of transformation (1 Cor 1:2, 6:11; 1 Thes 5:23; 1 Jn 1:9). In reality we are both new creatures in Christ and still imperfect sinners in a lifelong struggle with the flesh (Rom 7:15-21, 8:13; 2 Cor 5:17). We await our glorification and the destruction of our sinful natures.

Our response to these and other issues is to strive to know and follow the unbiased truth of God’s Word, maintaining a strong, Biblically sound and balanced position in our theology, without discrediting other believers who hold different viewpoints. Regardless of our doctrinal stand, we must show honour and respect while desiring to be true to God’s Word — individually and corporately within our Church. Our prayer should be that the Lord gives us wisdom and grace in “rightly dividing the Word of Truth” (2 Tim 2:15). This is why we need to consistently read and study the Bible, to know what God requires of His children, so we can “live holy and godly lives” (2 Pet 3:11).

The way we treat others should be guided by Christian virtues

A simple illustration of this principle of tension is found in electricity: the opposite polarities of positive (+) and negative (−) are both required for electrical equipment to operate. Neither pole on its own can power anything — a single terminal, however strong, produces no current. It is only when the two opposites are brought together in tension that energy flows and the appliance does what it was designed to do. The positive and negative are not enemies but complementary counterparts; their counterbalancing is precisely what generates power.

So it is in the Christian life. God allows opposing forces within and around us — pressure and peace, effort and rest, faith and works, the ideal we are called to and the imperfection we still live with — not to tear us apart, but to make us functional. Rather than resenting tension or trying to eliminate every discomfort, we can ask God to harness it, so that the push and pull of life’s pressures drives us into deeper dependence on Him, and the current of His power flows through our weakness, for His “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9).

3. Prayers Unanswered

Another very real tension in the Christian life is between the promise of Jesus, “Ask and it will be given to you” (Mt 7:7; Jn 16:24), and the experience of prayers that are not answered the way we would like — or that seem not to be answered at all. Both are true. The instruction to ask is a command to be obeyed, not a formula to be manipulated; and the God to whom we pray is sovereign, working all things according to His will and His perfect wisdom (Eph 1:11; Rom 11:33-36). Asking is not an automatic yes. Prayer is not placing an order with a vending machine; it is a child conversing with a Father who loves us, knows what we need before we ask (Mt 6:8), and answers out of that love rather than out of our management. It is entirely right that we ask — boldly, specifically and repeatedly. Scripture invites us to come with confidence to the throne of grace (Heb 4:16), to present our requests with thanksgiving (Phil 4:6), to keep on asking, seeking and knocking (Lk 11:9-10), and not to give up praying (Lk 18:1-8). We honour God by bringing our real desires to Him, just as Jesus, “with loud cries and tears,” offered up prayers to the One who could save Him from death (Heb 5:7). A request withheld from God is not more spiritual; it is simply less honest.

Yet even Jesus did not receive an automatic yes. In Gethsemane He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me,” and then immediately submitted: “Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Mt 26:39; Lk 22:42). The cup was not removed — it was His Father’s will that He drink it, and through that unanswered request came the salvation of the world. If that happened to Jesus, we should not assume that an unanswered prayer means our faith is defective or that God has failed to keep His word. The promise of Mt 7:7 stands, but God answers as the sovereign Father who knows the end from the beginning, not as a debtor responding to our persuasion.

“Yet not my will, but yours be done” – Luke 22:42

Scripture records other faithful people whose godly requests were not granted: David fasted and prayed for his sick child, yet the child died (2 Sam 12:16-23); Paul pleaded three times for his thorn in the flesh to be removed, and God replied, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:7-9); Jesus warned Peter that Satan had asked to sift him and prayed for him — yet Peter was still sifted (Lk 22:31-32); even Paul was at times prevented by the Spirit from going where he planned (Act 16:6-7). In each case the refusal or redirection was not rejection. God’s “no” or “wait” is given by the One whose thoughts and ways are higher than ours (Isa 55:8-9), who works all things together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28), and who can see dangers, purposes and timings that we cannot.

Not every unanswered prayer is a matter of mystery; the Bible names some practical causes we should honestly examine. We may ask with wrong motives, to spend on our own pleasures (Jas 4:3); cherish sin in our hearts, so that the Lord does not hear (Ps 66:18); doubt, being double-minded and unstable (Jas 1:6-8); neglect the cries of the poor and oppressed (Prov 21:13); or treat our spouse harshly, hindering our prayers (1 Pet 3:7). A persistent “no” can be God’s loving prompt to deal with something in us first. Even so, these are cautions for self-examination, not explanations to reach for when judging someone else’s suffering — like Job’s friends, we can be certain and wrong (Job 42:7).

There is also the tension of the delayed answer. From our side a prayer may appear unanswered for years, while from God’s side it is in process. Abraham waited some twenty-five years for the promised son (Gen 12:4, 21:5); Hannah prayed year after year before Samuel was born (1 Sam 1:10-20); the believers in Revelation cry out, “How long, Sovereign Lord?” and are told to wait a little longer (Rev 6:10-11). Delay is not denial. Some requests are refused for our protection, some are postponed for God’s timing, and some are redefined — God gives something better than what we asked, or gives us Himself and His grace in place of the thing itself, as with Paul. Meanwhile the Spirit intercedes for us “with groanings too deep for words” when we do not know what to pray (Rom 8:26-27), and Christ Himself ever lives to intercede for us (Heb 7:25). Our prayers are heard, gathered and answered by wiser hands than our own.

The resolution of this tension is the same surrender Jesus modelled: ask fully, trust completely. We can pray, “if it is possible…” and in the same breath, “yet not my will, but yours be done.” Praying in Jesus’ name (Jn 14:13-14) does not mean stamping our wishes with His authority; it means aligning our will with His character and purposes, so that we can pray “your will be done” and mean it (Mt 6:10). Such praying may not remove the ache of an unanswered request, but it removes the ache of carrying it alone. We pour out our hearts to Him (Ps 62:8), we wait on Him with hope (Lam 3:25-26; Ps 130:5-6), we give thanks in advance that His answer — yes, no or wait — flows from perfect love, and we rest in the confidence that one day, when we see Him face to face, every prayer He answered differently will be seen to have been answered better (1 Cor 13:12).

Lord, I submit to you

Reflection and Application

Identify your current sources of tension and consciously invite God into each situation before reacting.
Release pressure in healthy ways — confront problems constructively, plan ahead, and engage in wholesome physical activity.
Hold Biblical truths in balance without dividing from believers who hold different viewpoints.
Keep asking boldly, yet surrender each request: “Yet not my will, but yours be done.”