Pain and suffering can be either a physical injury affecting the body or emotional pain caused by the attitudes and words of others that brings harm to the spirit.
by bitterness – through holding onto an offence, un-forgiveness, unresolved issues or other negative attitudes – this will blight their whole nature and
‘Hurt people’ hurt people; whole people bring wholeness
have a detrimental influence on their relationships with others and God (Mt 6:14,15; 1 Jn 1:6,7, 3:15). Words and actions have a very pronounced and real effect on people, often seriously wounding their inner personalities (spirits). Children especially are susceptible to being emotionally crippled, so unless these seemingly small incidents are addressed, they will cause major problems in the future – how they relate to people and their outlook on life.
Jesus said offenses will come, however it up to us to process them so they don’t leave us deformed and crippled in our inner being which controls all aspects of our life (Prov 4:23; Lk 17:1,2). We can't prevent birds flying overhead, but we can prevent them taking up residence in our hair! He doesn’t keeping a record of our sins so we are not to dwell on the faults and how others have offended us (2 Cor 5:18,19). Love forgives and forgives (Mt 18:22).
Because of offence given, either intentionally or because of a misunderstanding, many people give up on family, marriage, friends or church relationships that have soured, with rejection being one of Satan’s most destructive and widespread weapons. Unfortunately, God is blamed for much of this and many walk away from Him, as they consider He did not answer their prayers the way they think is best or that He requires too high a sacrifice, yet He is the one who can provide true healing. Jesus said, blessed is the person who doesn’t fall away (become offended) because of being associated with Me, and the way I operate (Isa 55:8,9; Mt 11:6, 13:21).
Although the world views life as not being fair, with expectations and promises not being met and with our desires not being ministered to, if we are truly committed to Him He will turn what was designed to break us into a blessing (Gen 50:20; Rom 8:28). Connect to God who will never leave us and even if He does discipline us it is always for our good and done with love.
Our growth in righteousness happens largely by association with other ‘less than perfect’ humans; we are being perfected by the imperfections of others. As life is hurtful, people interact with hurting people. Rather than the hurts adversely affecting us causing a bad reaction, and the root of bitterness growing, the Bible teaches we are to pray for and bless those who cause us distress – this is responding in the opposite spirit (Prov 25:21,22; Mt 5:44; Lk 6:27,28, 23:34; Rom 12:14-21). The devil wants to keep us in the bondage of a mental prison, emphasising the actions of others. We have little control over the treatment received but we do over our reactions. The closer and more intimate we are to a person the more vulnerable and hurtful is any conflict. As “A person’s enemies are often those in their immediate family”, this gives many opportunities for the old selfish nature to be put to death and prove the Lordship and victory of Christ in our daily life (Mt 10:36). The Bible warns against giving the enemy a foothold, instead advising to deal with any negative situations promptly (Eph 4:26,27).
I holding a grudge or offence against someone? In Jesus name leave the baggage of the past behind
Bring your hurts to the cross for healing
and walk in newness of life – this is why Jesus came to set us free, as people who are still hurting can’t function properly (Jn 8:32,36; Rom 8:1-4; 2 Cor 5:17; 1 Jn 3:8). Deal with your hurts so you can walk in freedom and victory.
The residual damage from healed physical injuries can often appear in later life. In a similar way inner personality hurts that have not been radically addressed can lie dormant until something triggers them and the emotional malicious poison within erupts, reinforcing the destructive negative memories by criticism and complaining, indicating that true forgiveness was not extended to the person. However, if while sharing memories of the situation only the facts are presented, the hurt has been resolved.
Jesus told 70 of His followers, nothing shall hurt or injure you for I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy (Lk 10:19). This is interpreted as meaning the spiritual powers of evil are not able to separate us from the love of God for all things work for our good (Rom 8:28,38).
Our sin-tainted character and selfish nature, together with defective communication, will result in many potentially hurtful experiences. The control of our tongue is the greatest challenge we face to avoid hurting others (Jas 3:2).
Do I allow myself to be more overwhelmed by the wrong people have done to me than the wrong I might have done (and may still be doing) to God by my unwillingness to trust Him? Life should not revolve around us – the glory of God should be our priority.
See also: abuse, bitterness, broken hearted, compassion, conflict, emotions, forgiveness, healing, inner healing, not being ministered to, offence, opposite spirit, reaction, reconciliation, relationships, restorative justice, retaliation, self-pity, speech, wholeness, words, wounded.