Emotions

<<strong feelings, passion>>

These powerful inner motivators, along with everything else on earth that has been warped by sin, are not in themselves sinful – but are when misused.

We are to be in charge of our emotions as they have input into our responses yet they should not dictate them. We are answerable for our behaviour. Grief can threaten to overwhelm us. Anger can erupt spontaneously. Love can quickly deteriorate to lust or hate by a change in circumstance or response from another party, with another incorrect expression is forming soul ties. Wrong emotions out of control can jeopardise what has taken years to establish. 

Our soul (which comprises the mind, will and emotions) is to be in under the restraint of our spirit, as emotions can quickly get out of control causing us to lose sight of the real perspective when we react irrationally. Often these intense mental feelings express themselves involuntarily to our shame and the discrediting of God.  Emotional decisions made in the heat of the moment are normally rash and foolish with long-term regret afterwards. Our emotions and feelings should only be expressed appropriately. Emotions can be expressed (vented), suppressed (acknowledged yet not dealt with), repressed (denied and buried deep in the subconscious).

repressed emotions cause problems, stunting our lives, causing us to withdraw, put up barriers and being less than the whole people Jesus wants to make of us.  Bring the issues before God (after all He knows how we are feeling anyway) and work it through with Him first, then you will be able to discuss the situation objectively with those involved.

Don’t bottle up emotions as they will explode with devastating effect causing heartache and embarrassment. All hurtful experiences leave emotional scars on our personalities that will often also outwork themselves in the physical body, in sickness and disease, so it is wise to bring all potentially harmful feelings and attitudes to the cross and allow Jesus to heal them. Self-focus, because it is a negative quality is energy draining, while self-pity prevents inner or emotional healing.

Everyone is affected in their emotions to some degree by the events of life. When things are going well for us, we are buoyed up in our spirits while if things are hard and difficult we have a heaviness of spirit. When we are down in the dumps, depressed, and in despair because we are not being ministered to what is the solution? Immediately after asking, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” the remedy is given, “Put your hope in God” (Ps 42:5,6,11, 43:5). What a change would take place in and through our lives if we wept over our sin, rejoiced in the salvation of God and the release of His Spirit within together with a realisation of being spiritually alive while being dead to the influences and situations in the world. The Holy Spirit uses feelings of remorse and guilt to bring about repentance.

indicators. For example, when you don’t ‘feel’ saved choose to believe the promises of God’s Word which are unchangeable rather than your own perception. Emotions are intensifiers of inner feelings not initiators. As such, they are a guide as to how we are ‘on the inside’. If we are irritable maybe, we need more sleep to reduce the expenditure of emotion.

Since we are commanded to love, then it must be within our power, with Christ's enablement (Jn 13:34,35; Rom 13:8; 1 Jn 4:7). Love, therefore, is a decision we make. Yes, love will often be accompanied by feelings, but emotion is not the basis of love. “We love because He first loved us” (Jn 3:16; 1 Jn 4:19). Since God is love and we are created in His image, we can love as He does by imitating what He does (Eph 5:1; 1 Jn 4:16). He has placed His capacity to love within our hearts. He then teaches us how to love by demonstrating what real love looks like (Jn 15:13). In any given situation, we can choose to love, regardless of how we feel.

Emotional health is characterised by an internal sense of self-worth that is independent of external validation, acknowledging that affirmation from others may be inconsistent. Individuals with stable emotional health effectively regulate both positive and negative emotions and express them appropriately while performing daily activities. When emotions disproportionately influence decision-making, there is an increased risk of impaired judgement or irrational behaviour.

The mind serves as the primary arena for processing thoughts and emotions, which largely determine responses to life’s challenges, including periods of change and uncertainty. Such challenges can have a considerable impact on emotional well-being, potentially resulting in feelings of exhaustion and vulnerability. Fatigue and stress can increase susceptibility to negative self-talk and external pressures, highlighting the importance of recognising emotional vulnerability and responding with self-compassion.

Negative or uncontrolled emotional responses often contribute to conflict and harm; for example, reacting with anger during disagreements may escalate disputes and cause lasting damage. In contrast, positive emotions can serve as powerful motivators, inspiring constructive action and empathetic engagement. Responding with empathy in challenging interpersonal situations can promote understanding and resolution, supporting healthier relationships and personal growth.

Emotional regulation involves taking intentional actions rather than waiting for emotions to prompt behaviour, since feelings are often reactive. When experiencing emotional distress, it is advisable to avoid impulsive reactions or escapist behaviours. Vulnerability may increase susceptibility to uncharacteristic choices, particularly during periods of heightened stress or fatigue.

Self-control remains essential, particularly when emotions are impacted by tiredness, stress, hormonal imbalance, or external criticism. How are my emotions and reactions when several things go wrong at once?  Job’s was to praise God, with David expressing, “I will bless the Lord at all times (Job 1:21; Ps 34:1). When everything was a disaster, the response was, “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour” (Hab 3:17,18). We choose what our response will be, to look at the situation either through our natural eyes or see ourselves as under God’s protection and the object of His love (Rom 8:28,31).

Various factors can affect emotional health, including challenges related to employment, education, interpersonal relationships, health concerns, retirement, and bereavement. The significance of these influences is highly individualised. It is beneficial to reflect on which specific factors are currently affecting one’s emotional state.

Despite such challenges, several evidence-based strategies support the maintenance of emotional health. These include focusing on achievements rather than shortcomings – such as maintaining a journal of weekly accomplishments – to reinforce progress. Establishing strong social connections, whether through interpersonal interaction or participation in community groups, further strengthens resilience. Additionally, a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and sufficient quality sleep are crucial contributors to overall well-being.

During periods of grief or acute stress, it is advisable to refrain from making significant life decisions. Prior to acting, individuals should consider whether their choices align with long-term objectives. Decision-making may be aided by listing advantages and disadvantages or consulting with a trusted advisor to gain insight and perspective.

Emotional dependency is when a person’s need for belonging, security and value is met in an unhealthy way. This is also termed co-dependency where one person supports or enables another’s dysfunctional lifestyle – of addiction, poor mental health, irresponsibility, or under achievement.

Emotional abuse is verbal abuse and criticism that cripples another’s self-worth and independence.

See also: affections, anger, attitude, body/soul/spirit, co-dependency, depression, escapism, feelings, frustration, grief, hurts, inner healing, mental health, moods, not being ministered to, reaction, responsible/responsibility, self-control, self-pity, soul ties, stress, temptation.