Understanding Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse or manipulation designed to gain control over another person. This destructive tactic systematically undermines the victim's confidence in their own perceptions, memories, and judgment.

Gaslighting Tactics and Effects

Gaslighting takes the form of contradicting and denying that an event took place, even though the victim knows it to be true. The abuser may insist that the victim is mistaken, overreacting, or remembering things incorrectly, causing them to doubt their memory and perception. This form of manipulation was the nature of Satan's communication with Eve in the Garden of Eden, when he said, "Did God really say…" (Gen 3:1-3). Satan's aim was to cast doubt on what God had said and she knew to be true.

The result is that the victim slowly learns to mistrust their own judgment, perception, and even sanity, allowing the abuser to define reality for them rather than their own mind

Recognizing the Impact

Healthy relationships give us a sense of mental and emotional well-being. Self-doubt is the crippling aspect of gaslighting that knocks people's understanding of reality off-balance.

Victims of gaslighting often experience confusion, anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-esteem. They may begin to question their own sanity and rely increasingly on the manipulator for guidance and validation. This dependency makes it extremely difficult for victims to recognize the abuse or leave the relationship.

Protecting Yourself and Seeking Truth

While we are to be in relationship with others and allow them to speak into our lives, we must not abandon our reasoning and blindly follow their judgments, nor allow them to isolate us from those who can give an alternative balanced viewpoint and provide support. It is important to identify the truth, and discern what is distortion and lies.

The only person to whom we are to give unswerving allegiance to is God and the Holy Spirit within. By grounding ourselves in biblical truth and maintaining a strong connection with God, we can better discern when someone is attempting to manipulate or deceive us.

Reflection and Application:

Have you experienced situations where someone consistently denied your reality or made you question your memory?
Are there relationships in your life where you feel constantly confused or unsure of your own perceptions?
How can you cultivate a stronger connection with God and Scripture to anchor yourself in truth?
Who are the trustworthy people in your life that can provide objective perspective and support?