The world’s view is often focused on dating, commencing from soon after puberty and always being in some sort of relationship, often without any intention of commitment to marriage. The selfish goals are having fun and enjoying romantic attachment to ‘someone who can make me happy’. This is just socializing with heightened sexual desires, with no consideration of maturity and readiness for the commitment of marriage. In dating relationships there is little if any accountability or interaction with family members – the couple pursuing their self-gratifying relationship independent of others’ influence or counsel. As such, with a relationship based largely on emotions with few boundaries, many succumb to the temptation of lust and engage in sex, putting intimacy before commitment.

If possible, get to know others of the opposite sex in a group setting before pairing off. Observe their character and ensure they have a genuine desire for Christ-likeness and are living out the faith they claim to have (Ezek 33:31; Tit 1:16; 1 Jn 2:4). If a relationship develops, clarify the boundaries which with God’s help you will not cross, so you keep yourselves pure until your wedding. We are not to defile

 Don't let your hormones get out of control

our bodies by pre-marital sex, as this is a sin against God, our own selves and dishonours the other person (Ex 20:14; Rom 12:9,10; 1 Cor 6:9,13,18; Heb 13:4; 2 Tim 2:22). Do not put yourself in compromising situations, which are inappropriate for a Christian (Eph 5:3). If any behaviour is doubtful, avoid it (Rom 14:23).

As Christians, we are to love and obey Him above all else, and respect others (Mt 10:37; Mk 12:30,31).  To get God’s blessing, do things His way by following biblical principles and so form a secure foundation for your future marriage.

See also: boundaries, caress, courting, hormones, lust, petting, pre-marital sex, relationships, respect, self-control, self-discipline, sexual sins.