A Biblical Guide to Christian Dating: Building Relationships That Honour God

In today's culture, dating often begins soon after puberty with little thought toward marriage commitment. As Christians, we're called to approach relationships differently - with purpose, purity, and a focus on honouring God above all else.

The World's View vs. Biblical Principles

The world's perspective on dating typically focuses on self-gratification, romantic attachment, and the pursuit of personal happiness. Relationships often commence without any intention of commitment to marriage, driven primarily by heightened sexual desires and emotional fulfillment. This approach to dating resembles socializing with romantic undertones, where maturity and readiness for marriage commitment receive little consideration.

In such worldly dating relationships, accountability and family interaction are minimal. Couples often pursue their self-gratifying relationships independently of others' influence or counsel, creating an environment where emotional-based connections with few boundaries can easily lead to temptation. Many succumb to lust and engage in premarital sex, putting intimacy before commitment and violating God's design for relationships.

Biblical Guidelines for Godly Relationships

As Christians, we are called to love and obey God above all else, respecting others in our relationships (Mt 10:37; Mk 12:30,31). To receive God's blessing, we must do things His way by following biblical principles, which form a secure foundation for future marriage.

If possible, get to know others of the opposite sex in a group setting before pairing off. Observe their character and ensure they have a genuine desire for Christ-likeness and are living out the faith they claim to have (Ezek 33:31; Tit 1:16; 1 Jn 2:4). If a relationship develops, clarify the boundaries which with God's help you will not cross, so you keep yourselves pure until your wedding.

We are not to defile our bodies by pre-marital sex, as this is a sin against God, our own selves, and dishonours the other person (Ex 20:14; Rom 12:9-10; 1 Cor 6:9,13,18; Heb 13:4; 2 Tim 2:22). Do not put yourself in compromising situations, which are inappropriate for a Christian (Eph 5:3). If any behaviour is doubtful, avoid it (Rom 14:23).

Don't let your hormones get out of control

Purity and Boundaries in Dating

Maintaining purity requires intentional boundaries and accountability. Couples should establish clear physical boundaries early in the relationship, avoiding situations that could lead to temptation. This includes being mindful of private settings, late-night encounters, and activities that might compromise their commitment to purity.

Spiritual accountability is equally important. Couples should seek guidance from mature Christian mentors, parents, or church leaders who can provide wisdom and support. Regular prayer together and individually helps maintain focus on God's will for the relationship, keeping Christ at the center of their interactions.

Reflection and Application:

How can you evaluate whether a potential relationship honors God and aligns with biblical principles?
What specific boundaries do you need to establish to maintain purity in your relationships?
Who are the mature Christian mentors or family members you can turn to for accountability and guidance?
How does your current approach to dating reflect God's design for relationships leading to marriage?