Unmet Desires and Expectations

Sometimes we all experience our requirements not being fulfilled, recognition not being given, disappointment, trials, delays, and a seeming lack of progress. This generally leads to irritability and an unhappy mood that adversely affects others through our attitude, words, and actions. Dissatisfaction is not having what I crave or having what I don’t like. Some of our longings are legitimate, some are not. Other needs are purely selfish wants or don’t align with God’s plans. We act and acquire things that best satisfy our unmet needs, yet this must only be done in morally and ethically appropriate ways.

The world can’t satisfy our God-given longings – only God can although He may use circumstances and others to meet those needs and wants. This is why we should have meaningful relationships with others, especially

We can only be complete in God

believers. In the world, our needs are incompletely and inconsistently met, and as a result, we will be less able to support others effectively.

Hannah’s intense unmet desire was for a child. Through God's intervention and her heartfelt prayers her request was granted, and she gave birth to Samuel, the great OT prophet, priest, and judge (1 Sam 1:10-16,19,20,27, 2:18, 3:20, 7:15). Persistently and actively, she was doing all she could to meet this reasonable need. What rightful and acceptable steps am I taking to bring my unfulfilled desires into reality? Why complain if you are not attempting to be part of the solution? Our responsibility is to revel in the Lord, focusing our attention on Him and if He sees fit, He will give us the desires of our hearts (Ps 37:4)

Jesus encountered a woman at the well with huge unmet needs, indicated by a string of past lovers, deep hurts, abandonment, rejection from her community, and the stain of stigma on her soul. She met the giver of spiritual life and went away transformed because Jesus had addressed her deepest need by offering her living water that satisfied

No human or thing can satisfy our soul’s yearnings

her soul. Because of her testimony, many people also trusted in Christ (Jn 4:39-41). Our deep unfulfilled desires and unquenched inner thirst should drive us to the feet of Jesus (Mk 5:22,23).

It is recorded in the early church “There was no needy person among them” because those who had physical provisions shared with those who were not so well off (Act 4:34,35). True Christianity is sacrificial and practical. The application point in the parable of the Good Samaritan is “Go and do likewise” (Lk 10:37).

Unmet needs in a marriage are either perceived or real important physical, emotional, or psychological needs that a partner is not receiving from their spouse resulting in dissatisfaction, frustration, and conflict within the relationship which can lead to extra-marital affairs to satisfy those desires. Open and frank discussions should occur within the marriage if these desires are neglected, however, sometimes we must sacrifice for the overall good.

Handling unmet expectations

Rather than complaining, thinking life is not fair, and sinking into self-pity by focusing on the few insignificant matters that have not materialized thank God for the numerous blessings received – maybe these additional ones will

Look to God, as your Source, not the world

soon. We live in a society that wants things instantly. As a believer, this life is not all about us. The self-focus that characterized our lives before we met Christ should now be replaced by being outward-focused as we care for other people and live for His glory as we surrender the control of our lives to the Lord to be instruments of His choosing (Rom 8:18; 2 Cor 4:6,11; 1 Tim 1:16). God’s not asking us to like our circumstances but like Paul, we can “learn to be content whatever the circumstances” (Phil 4:11). This comes by trusting God for our needs and aligning our desires with God’s. Am I expecting or demanding God to answer a certain way? Do I have unrealistic dreams?

Don’t surrender or give up your faith because your desires are unresolved. Hold to the decision to love and obey the Lord regardless of your prayers being answered ‘your way’ (Dan 3:17,18).

The principle of sowing and reaping states we will receive back as we have given (Prov 11:21; Lk 6:38; Gal 6:7,8). God wants us to rejoice in Him, and while He gives us many good things He doesn’t do this at the expense of our spiritual development or so we become spoilt brats. We must continually remember that God is in control and allows things to strengthen our trust in Him and develop character in us (Rom 5:3-5, 8:28,29). Biblical hope is the confident assurance that God can do what He says.

God promises to meet all our needs yet how can we know this truth of God satisfying our needs unless we are in need? (Phil 4:19; 2 Pet 1:3,4). We must learn to control our emotions rather than being controlled by them. So, while we honestly acknowledge our feelings, we must not let them overwhelm the reality of the situation or immobilize us from discerning the best way forward and acting on that so we can come into the wholeness of spirit. Paul earnestly prayed for relief from a particular matter, but God said He had a better solution (2 Cor 12:7-10). Paul accepted this knowing the divine way is best.