Single: Living Content and Devoted to God
God uses each and every person dedicated to Him, whether unmarried or married. This page looks at what the Bible says about living singly with contentment, purity and singleness of purpose – finding fullness of life in serving Him rather than in marital status.
What Singleness Means
Don’t assume God wants everybody married as, in His economy, He uses each and every person dedicated to Him. Unmarried people can often be more devoted to God through having less distractions in the natural realm, but living just as fulfilling lives – being content in their calling in life through serving Him by reaching out to others (1 Cor 7:32-34).
Being single is not an inferior state to marriage, and such people should not be considered defective in character, but accept their present role in life (Mt 19:10-12; 1 Cor 7:7,17). Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God, each with its own advantages and its own challenges, and each to be received with thankfulness rather than envy.
Singleness covers a variety of circumstances – those who have never married, those who are divorced, and those who are single again following the death of a spouse. Each brings its own issues: the never-married may wrestle with unfulfilled longings, the divorced often carry wounds and questions of failure, and the widowed face grief and the loss of a lifelong companion. God understands the particular path each person walks, and His grace is sufficient for every one of these situations (Ps 147:3; Heb 4:15-16).
Secure in Him, whatever the season
Living Whole and Purposeful While Single
During your time of singleness, prepare to become the best partner possible for your potential spouse so, if or when the Lord brings your mate across your path, you will have a successful marriage. Such activities include becoming more other-focused, developing domestic disciplines of cooking, cleaning and practical skills that are part of married life, besides growing in your love for Him and involvement in His kingdom.
Singles should be comfortable and victorious in their own right before marriage, as it is unwise to think a partner will provide total security or what is lacking in themselves. Such a life-long commitment, from both partners, should not be entered into lightly but only after much prayer, together with counsel from family, friends and pastor.
Your responsibility is to discern God’s calling for you, not to be envious of others
Sexual fantasies involving masturbation are often a problem for single people so these God given sexual desires and energies must be redirected into wholesome pursuits (1 Cor 7:9,36-37). Singles should team up with others to broaden their social skills and combat feelings of loneliness by having a good network of married couples, as well as friends of both sexes. Obviously, any dealings with the opposite gender must be with complete integrity, and ideally in a group setting. Healthy interaction with families is also vital, especially those with children – singles can give focused attention, mentoring and practical help that blesses both parents and young ones, while parents should welcome single people into the life of their home rather than overlook them. God has put the solitary in families, even if one’s natural family is non-functional there should be a bonding and connectedness in the family of God (Ps 68:6).
Singleness of Purpose
At whatever stage of life we find ourselves – whether single or married – God Himself should be our greatest desire, not our connection to a fellow human being. Human relationships are a real blessing, yet no person, however precious, can satisfy the deepest longing of the heart; that place belongs to God alone. As believers, then, our highest goal – and our driving passion – in life is to love God with every part of our being (Ps 73:25-26; Mk 12:30). Jesus gave His life to save us from eternal torment in hell; its the least we can do in appreciation for Him stepping into our otherwise impossible situation. We are instructed to make God's Kingdom and His righteousness (right way of living) the first priority of our lives, before being concerned with the affairs of this life (Mt 6:32-33). When He is the focus of our attention and we put God first, He will ensure the other matters are taken care of. Such single-mindedness keeps our goals centred on Him. God said to the Israelites, "I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good..." (Jer 32:39). The early believers had a singleness of purpose to grow in the knowledge of salvation and this was outworked in their lifestyle (Act 2:42-47). Our work ethics should be single-focused "as being done to God", not dependant if the boss is watching us or not (Eph 6:5; Col 3:22).
The Bible states, "It is impossible to serve two opposing masters at the same time" (Mt 6:24). Our focus cannot be divided, for a conflict of interest would force us to choose who we will be faithful to. Wavering between the two is not a viable option – our goals, passion and priorities must be single-minded. As God's Kingdom will endure forever it makes sense to invest our time and resources in it rather than put our effort into that which will ultimately not last. Thus every focus, goal, passion and priority should be brought into line with that eternal purpose.
Is God my master or is something else?
Reflection and Application
- Thank God for your present season of life, and ask Him to help you be content and fruitful in it.
- Set your focus, goals, passion and priorities this week so God is first – practising single-mindedness by seeking His Kingdom before everything else (Mt 6:33).
- Examine your heart: is God truly your Master, or does something else compete for your devotion?
- Redirect loneliness or unmet desires into wholesome pursuits and deeper connection within God’s family.