Self-Respect: Honouring the Person God Created You to Be

Self-respect has its roots in our values, morals and belief systems. It shapes how we feel about ourselves, how we make choices, and how we treat others. This article explores what the Bible teaches about self-respect, why it is often undermined, and how it can be rebuilt with God's help.

What Self-Respect Really Means

Self-respect builds on how we understand our self-esteem (how we feel about ourselves) and puts those values into practice, evidenced in our choices, daily behaviour and interactions, in ways that honour our needs and desires, while recognising our worth. It is not selfishness; nor pride but rather, it is a right recognition of who we are and whose we are.

Maintaining our physical body is important, as well as addressing our emotional and psychological needs. The Bible instructs us to guard our heart more than any treasure, for it directs our whole life, and as a person thinks in their heart, so they are (Prov 4:23, 23:7). This highlights the importance of inward thoughts and motivations, as they shape a person's outward actions; a person's true character is revealed not just by what they say, but by what they truly believe and desire.

How Self-Respect Is Undermined

A lack of self-respect may stem from experiences such as childhood abuse, school bullying, insufficient care and support from family, or trauma in relationships, which can lead to feelings of insignificance or worthlessness.

Negative self-talk and reacting with wrong, strong emotions also undermine our self-respect by not honouring our needs or what we want from life. Typical examples include: 'I'm not good enough, I can never do anything right', yet who are we to say God made a poor job of us? Responding with verbal anger or physical abuse, as well as allowing oneself to be taken advantage of due to an inability to say 'no', compromises our boundaries. Additionally, focusing excessively on the opinions of others rather than prioritising one's self-perception can further undermine self-respect.

Counter negativity with positive truth

Rebuilding Self-Respect with God's Help

The Bible instructs us to "love our neighbour as ourselves" and to "do to others as we would have them do to us" (Mk 12:31; Lk 6:31). To exhibit kindness, compassion and generosity towards our neighbours, it is imperative that we first embody these qualities in our own lives. "No one despises their own body but rather nourishes and cares for it" (Eph 5:29).

We will gain more respect from others when we respect ourselves. Treating our body, mind and spirit with care is part of loving our neighbour as ourselves, for we are among the neighbours we are commanded to love. Respect for ourselves and respect for others grow together, each reinforcing the other.

We will gain more respect from others when we respect ourselves

To combat destructive responses, nurture a positive mindset and take control of your thoughts (Rom 12:2; 2 Cor 10:5). Our outbursts of hurtful words and other harmful emotions need concerted effort with the Lord's help to be tamed (Eph 4:26; Jas 1:19-20, 3:2,6,8). Setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-respect that honours the person God created you to be, protecting you from harmful relationships and ensuring your values remain intact.

Our values are the standards we will not compromise on — the convictions that anchor us when life presses in. Identify them, write them down, and determine with God's help that you will hold to them, so that your choices and relationships reflect what you truly believe.

Walk with integrity and be true to your values

Caring for yourself is not selfish, but a way to respect what God has created. It is important to prioritise our physical, emotional and spiritual health. We are responsible for, and ultimately answerable for, our own lives, just as others are for theirs, so don't be emotionally under the control of others. Cultivating mutual and uplifting relationships further reinforces the respect you show to yourself, as the company of supportive and respectful individuals inspires growth and confidence.

To foster self-respect, act and make decisions that positively impact ourselves and our relationships. Self-respect is a commitment and an ongoing journey that requires continual effort and dedication. It is essential for overcoming challenges, building resilience, and maintaining emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.

While we may mess up occasionally, it's important to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and apologise with grace to others when we make mistakes. We are to love ourselves regardless of the inevitable blunders. When these stumbles happen, it can be painful, yet they are an opportunity for growth if we learn from the experiences.

Reflection and Application:

Identify your key values and moral beliefs, and determine with God's help that you will not compromise them.
Replace negative self-talk with truth from Scripture about your worth and God's care for you.
Set one healthy boundary this week — practise saying 'no' with grace when something compromises your values.
Prioritise daily care of your physical, emotional and spiritual health through rest, prayer and uplifting relationships.