Understanding and Responding to Godly Rebuke

Rebuke is one of the ways God brings correction and growth into our lives. Though it can feel uncomfortable, a godly rebuke is an expression of love, intended to restore, protect, and mature us in faith.

Receiving Rebuke with Humility

God uses people as one of several means to bring correction into our lives. When someone speaks into our lives, we should pray for grace and wisdom to receive it with a right attitude. Resist the temptation to become defensive; instead, guard your reaction so that you can profit from the correction and become a better person (Prov 9:8, 17:10, 25:12; 2 Cor 7:8-9). It is good to pray, “Show me where I have been wrong,” because those who reject reproof will eat the fruit of their ways (Job 6:24; Prov 1:30-31, 15:5). The natural reaction of the carnal nature is to rise up with “Who made you a ruler over me?” and become offended (Ex 2:14).

No one is above being questioned or held accountable for his or her actions, and there will be at least some truth in any rebuke we receive. Ideally, when confronted, this will lead to a personal examination of our lives before God, resulting in renewed fellowship with Him and others, repentance from sinful practices, and a genuine effort to correct ungodly traits (Prov 27:6, 28:23; Lk 17:3; 2 Cor 7:8-11; Heb 12:11).

Giving Rebuke in Love

Rebuking is one of the four purposes of Scripture; it helps us realise what is wrong in our lives so we can be prepared and equipped to do good to everyone (2 Tim 3:16-17). Paul instructed Titus to “Encourage and rebuke with all authority” (Tit 2:15). That authority comes from the truth of the Bible.

The rebuking is to be done in a humble, loving way, without criticism, condemnation, or malicious accusation, aiming rather to bring restoration and reconciliation, to inspire holiness, and to improve the character of the person concerned. It should be a positive, uplifting experience, not a destructive or negative one (2 Cor 5:18-19; Gal 6:1; 2 Thes 3:14-15; 2 Tim 4:2; Tit 1:13).

Godly rebuking should result in restoration

Be sure of your facts before confronting people with any charge, being aware that there are guidelines to be followed (1 Sam 26:9; 1 Tim 5:1,19-20). Even if you know the answers, ask questions rather than make statements, enabling the people to discover for themselves what the problem is.

Always maintain the honour of the person being confronted. We are not to quibble about character qualities or what someone does differently to us. A rebuke—exposing the sin—is only to be used if their conduct is not appropriate for a believer (Gal 6:1; Jas 5:19-20; 1 Jn 5:16). Rebuking is a means to maintain this accountability with our brothers and sisters in Christ by speaking into their lives with loving honesty, the truth and principles of the Word (Lk 17:3; Eph 4:25). “A rebuke to a man of commonsense is very effective…” (Prov 17:10). As iron sharpens iron, we can spur each other on in the faith, to release our potential (Prov 27:17).

God says, “Those I love I rebuke and discipline” (Rev 3:19). He has our best interests at heart, so “repent…Do not despise His discipline or resent His rebuke” (Prov 3:11-12; Heb 12:5-11). Humbly accept His verdict. The same humility should characterize any rebuke we offer others.

Love should be the motive – Ephesians 4:15

Our motivation is paramount. We need to be aware of our own weaknesses, “quick to listen and slow to speak,” and when necessary employ the safeguard of a “third party” (Mt 7:1-5, 18:16; Jas 1:19). Paul cautions Timothy against harsh rebukes (1 Tim 5:1). As Christians we are to expose the evil in society—not in a proud, judgmental, self-righteous way—but rather showing how far, as humans, we have fallen below God’s high standards (Eph 5:11). As churches and believers we should be known for giving credit and encouragement when deserved, besides being renowned for our good works and righteous living (2 Cor 13:10; Rev 2:2-6,13-16,19-20).

The Authority and Limits of Rebuke

It is recorded that Jesus rebuked the wind, demons, and fevers (Mt 8:26, 17:18; Lk 4:39). When Jesus rebuked someone or something, He demanded, in effect, on God’s authority, that it cease and desist. The outcome was that winds quieted, demons were exorcised, and fevers dismissed.

Peter and Jesus both rebuked each other (Mk 8:32-33). Peter reacted from his human understanding of the situation, whereas Jesus rebuked Peter because he was only seeing things from an earthly viewpoint.

God has permitted Satan to have significant power and influence over the earth, at least for now, yet always within God’s sovereign control. As believers we also have been invested with authority from Jesus, yet there is no biblical basis that we are to be rebuking Satan or his many evil spirits, the agents who do his bidding (Eph 6:12). The Bible teaches, “submit to God. Resist the devil [refuse to be moved, countering his attacks] and he will flee from you” (Jas 4:7).

Reflection and Application:

Ask God to show you any area of your life where you have resisted correction, and commit to receiving rebuke with humility.
Before speaking into someone else’s life, examine your motives and ask whether your words aim to restore or merely to criticise.
Memorise Ephesians 4:15 as a guide for speaking the truth in love to those around you.
Resolve to resist the devil by submitting to God, rather than attempting to rebuke spiritual powers in your own strength.