Gossip and Rumor Management
Casual or scandalous talk about another person, encompassing criticism, false reports, rumors, and exaggerations that are malicious in nature. These uncomplimentary comments accentuate the negative aspects of an absent third party's character or actions, and can even be disguised as 'items' for prayer.
Understanding the Nature of Gossip
Gossip springs from jealousy, pride and selfishness, and is expressed because of a lack of self-control. Being a busy-body and gossiping is listed with other ungodly activities that are characteristic of those who are not walking in God's ways (Rom 1:28-32). It involves passing on questionable information and twisted facts when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution.
Often the 'news' is altered or elaborated as it is passed on and can be character assassination, showing a lack of respect for others (2 Thes 3:11-12; 1 Tim 5:13). We are not to spread false reports against a neighbour for it stirs up discord (Ex 20:16, 23:1; Prov 6:16,19). The Bible's advice is clear: "Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly" (1 Tim 6:20; 2 Tim 2:16).
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret (Prov 11:12-13). It is "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" – be it good or bad – with our words showing what is inside, hence we are exhorted to "get rid of every form of malice" (Mt 12:34-35; Eph 4:31). The golden rule of life can be stated as not doing to others what we don't want done to us (Lk 6:31).
Responding to Gossip
If someone is starting to share gossip with you, stop them and clarify with them: 'What is your reason for wanting to tell me – is it true? What was your source? Have you gone to the person concerned? Can I quote you?' If people gossip to you about others, they will also spread your morsels of information to others! We are to confess our faults, not spread those of another (Jas 5:16).
Agreeing with gossip is degrading the person against whom it is spoken. Before engaging in this degrading activity, ask yourself: Would we
like others to pass on this kind of information if we were the one being discussed? Would I pass this information on if I knew the person
being spoken about could hear me? Will it be helpful if I pass this 'news' on? Do others need to know? Will God be glorified, and will it
build up people and put them in a good light?
Don't say what you wouldn't want said about you
If I share this juicy chitchat, what does it portray of my character? What is the motivation for uncharitable rumors and slurs about a person's character (Ps 15:3)? Remember we must give account for every idle word we speak (Mt 12:36). "A person who lacks judgement puts down their neighbour, but a person of understanding holds their tongue" (Prov 11:12).
Building Godly Communication
Godly communication requires intentionality and self-control. We must recognize that our words have power to build up or tear down, to heal or to wound. The choice is ours, and the consequences are eternal. When we choose to speak truth in love, we reflect God's character and contribute to a community of grace and trust.
Developing habits of wholesome speech begins with heart transformation. As we fill our minds with what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8), our words will naturally reflect these qualities. We are called to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (Jas 1:19), ensuring that our communication honors God and edifies others
Reflection and Application:
- Examine your heart: What motivates you to share information about others?
- Practice the pause: Before speaking, ask if your words will build up or tear down.
- Confront gossip lovingly when you encounter it, directing people to biblical principles.
- Commit to speaking only what is true, necessary, and helpful in every situation.