Forgive/Forgiveness: Finding True Freedom

Forgiveness is one of God's chief character traits, so it is vital to embrace and live out forgiveness in our lives if we are to experience release from the penalty of sin and emotional freedom. At its core, forgiveness is the deliberate choice to release resentment, anger, and the desire for retribution toward those who have wronged us, just as God has forgiven us through Christ. This transformative act not only restores broken relationships and brings healing to wounded hearts, but also frees us from the destructive grip of bitterness that can enslave our emotions and hinder our spiritual growth. By extending the same mercy we have received, we reflect God's love and open the door to genuine reconciliation, inner peace, and the abundant life that God intends for His children.

Understanding True Forgiveness

For justice to be achieved, an offender must bear their own guilt and punishment for wrongdoing, or the one sinned against may choose to release the offender from the penalty through forgiveness. This offers the undeserved privilege of pardon by which they are declared 'Not guilty', and the record of sin is cleared (Ps 32:1-2; Rom 4:6-8). For any sin there are always consequences.

Forgiveness releases us from the past, restores the present, and will bring healing to relationships for the future. This act of mercy is not just something we do for others; more importantly, we do it for ourselves to eliminate destructive bitterness and move forward in emotional and spiritual health.

Forgiving brings emotional freedom

Our conscience is our inner alarm system designed to lead us to repentance and forgiveness. True conviction comes from the Holy Spirit prompting our conscience of specific sins, as opposed to false guilt that is the result of human judgments and suggestions (2 Cor 7:9-10). Forgiveness also deals with Satan's condemnation for we are 'in Christ' and the law of God's Kingdom (confession, then forgiveness because He took our penalty) sets us free (Rom 8:1-2).

When an offence has been committed against God or a fellow human, there should be repentance, not a glib 'I'm sorry' that has no effect, rather a genuine attitude of sorrow that results in a noticeable change of direction (Ps 51:17; Mt 3:8). Be proactive in addressing any hindrance as we can't worship acceptably if we know there is a problem between us and someone else. We need to resolve that issue so we can meet God with a cleansed heart because the blood of Jesus can't cleanse unconfessed sin (Mt 5:23-24; Mk 11:25-26).

Asking Forgiveness of God

Primarily sin is the breaking of God's laws, so it is to Him initially that confession and repentance must be made as only He has the right to forgive us our sin against Him (Ps 41:4, 51:4; Mk 2:7; Lk 5:21). By His nature He is legally and morally obligated to forgive us each time we meet the condition of confession and repentance for He "forgives us our sins and purifies us from all unrighteousness," remembering our sin against Him no more (Act 13:38; Eph 1:7; Heb 10:15-17; 1 Jn 1:6-9).

If we confess, He will forgive

Regardless of your past sin and failures, God promises to forgive (if the sin is confessed) and to make you useful and effective in His Kingdom. Peter failed numerous times, yet Christ restored him and used him mightily as recorded in Acts (Jn 18:15-18,25-27). The extent of God's forgiveness is graphically portrayed as removing our sin 'as far as the East is from the West', putting our sins behind His back and casting them into the depth of the sea (Ps 103:12; Isa 38:17; Mic 7:19).

While God's forgiveness is undeserved, it certainly isn't unconditional. Although not based on our efforts (His forgiveness and salvation are solely because of Jesus' redeeming work on the cross), it is dependent on our actions that demonstrate our faith and the extent to which we understand God's grace (Lk 13:3; Jn 1:12; Eph 2:8-9; Jas 2:14-26; 1 Jn 1:8-9). It is only by our acknowledging our wrong, repenting and accepting His forgiveness that we are saved and forgiven, both at conversion and in our ongoing Christian walk. Without repentance true biblical forgiveness is impossible.

"Blessed is the person who is forgiven, whose sin the Lord does not hold against them." David acknowledged his inner turmoil until "I acknowledged my sin…and you [God] forgave" (Ps 32:1,3-5). The same sense of release is possible for all who make regular confession to God.

Forgiving Others

Following our confession to God we must humbly approach those we have wronged, asking for their forgiveness. This can be the means of strengthening a relationship as we acknowledge and confess our sin, then pray for each other (Jas 5:16). In the vulnerability of honest confession and bringing sin into the open, we can be freed from guilt and released from the penalty of the wrongdoing.

Do I have anyone on my conscience whom I should be forgiving?

The focus is to be on our actions: 'I was wrong. Will you please forgive me for my…' stating only what you did wrong, with no excuses and no mentioning of any action by the other person, trying to shame them into guilt. After confessing and seeking forgiveness, attending to the physical restitution of property and a changed lifestyle indicates the genuineness of our words (Mt 7:16-20; Lk 19:2-10).

Not only can we receive forgiveness from those we have sinned against, but more importantly we are also to extend it to whoever has wronged us. We pray "Forgive us…as we have forgiven…" (Mt 6:12; Lk 6:37). To make our own forgiveness effective, we must forgive others from the heart. Granting forgiveness is not an emotion but a conscious choice to obey God and forgo any retribution by not allowing someone else's actions or attitudes to dictate mine.

We cannot love without forgiving

Confronting wrongdoing should always be done with caution as we do not know the motives of others or all the contributing factors. Where possible we are encouraged to be proactive by going to the other person and lovingly getting them to face up to what they did wrong so they can experience emotional freedom. However, as Scripture suggests, it may be wise to take witnesses. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him" but the onus still lies with you to forgive and keep on forgiving – 77 times and more (Mt 18:16,21-22; Lk 17:3-4).

We should honestly choose to forgive those who sin against us, whether intentional or unintentional, even when they are not aware of the offence or have died before the situation could be addressed. This does not mean pretending we were not hurt or saying the people who hurt us were not wrong. Rather it is walking in the footsteps of our God who, although in humiliation and excruciating pain, could have become bitter towards those who beat and nailed Him to the cross, yet He cried out, "Father forgive them..." (Lk 23:34; 1 Pet 2:21). God's forgiveness is immediate, complete and final – ours should be the same (Eph 4:32).

We can't afford not to forgive, for it is the bridge over which we must pass to reach heaven. If we refuse to forgive, it infers we don't need love and mercy by cutting ourselves off from the forgiveness of others and especially God. A test of true forgiveness is: can I pray for, love and bless the person who has offended me (Mt 5:44; 1 Pet 3:9)?

I forgive so I can be forgiven – Matthew 6:15

An issue of interpretation. The Bible says, “If you forgive anyone their sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven” (Jn 20:23). Some people mistakenly think this means someone else can pardon another’s sins against God. However, the accepted understanding is that we may assure those who genuinely repent and turn to Jesus for salvation that their sins are forgiven, while those who reject Jesus’ offer of salvation remain condemned by God, as “Whoever believes in the Son has life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on him” (Jn 3:36). Therefore, the concept of absolution is not actually Scriptural, since forgiveness comes directly from God through faith, not through any human intermediary.

Reflection and Application:

Take time to examine your heart for any unforgiveness you may be harbouring.
Bring these hurts before God in honest confession and repentance.
Choose to release the burden and extend forgiveness to those who have wronged you.
Experience the emotional freedom that comes from walking in forgiveness.