Flattery is a Form of Deception

Flattery involves excessive or insincere compliments and is often used as a cover-up for perceived weakness of one's real intentions – particularly to win favour, gain an advancement or in the hope that the giver will also receive back an exaggerated compliment.

The Nature of Flattery

Flattery is a trap that brings ruin as, "a man is tested by the praise he receives" (Prov 26:28, 27:21, 29:5). "He who rebukes will gain more favour than by flattery" (Prov 28:23). Constructive criticism or analysis shows where improvements can be made.

Flattery often leads to pride which brings destruction while humility results in honour – thus the instruction not to think more highly of oneself than is warranted (Prov 18:12; Rom 12:3). Have a healthy self-esteem, while being realistic about your ability and achievements, besides giving honour and genuine praise to others where due to encourage them (Rom 13:7).

Sincere Praise vs Flattery

Our speech should be honest and sincere without trying to manipulate or praise others beyond the truth for personal gain. We should always speak the truth in love even sharing the potentially hurtful things that needs to be said for the benefit of the hearer, not ourselves (Eph 4:15).

What is the motive behind it?

Compliments are sincere acknowledgments of admiration spoken to praise someone else, whereas flattery benefits the flatterer. Can it be said of us, "we never used flattery or put on a mask" because we were not looking for man's praise (1 Thes 2:5)?

The Bible warns of those who use smooth talk and flattery as through this they deceive people and introduce heresies (Rom 16:18).

True encouragement builds others up without exaggeration or hidden agendas, reflecting the character of Christ in our interactions.

Biblical Wisdom

The Scriptures consistently warn against the dangers of flattery while encouraging genuine praise and honest speech. Flattery is contrasted with truth, sincerity, and constructive correction. The heart behind our words matters greatly to God, who sees beyond outward appearances to the true motives within.

When we offer sincere praise, we reflect God's character and build up the body of Christ. However, when we use flattery for personal gain or manipulation, we harm relationships and dishonour God. The call is to speak truth in love, giving honour where it is genuinely due while avoiding the deception of excessive or insincere compliments.

Reflection and Application:

Examine your motives when giving compliments – are they genuine or self-serving?
Practice speaking the truth in love, even when it requires difficult conversations.
Cultivate humility and give sincere praise to others without exaggeration.
Guard against using smooth talk or flattery as a means of manipulation.