Biblical Counseling and Godly Guidance: Finding Wisdom Through Faith and Community

In life's most challenging decisions, the Bible teaches us not to rush into quick choices but to commit our ways to God, allowing Him to speak to our spirit through His Word and prayer (Ps 37:5, 119:24). This foundation of divine guidance forms the cornerstone of wise biblical counseling.

The Value of Multiple Counselors

The Bible emphasizes that with several good counselors, a wise and successful plan can be developed. We are called to humbly submit to receiving correction, confirmation, clarity, and input from parents, pastors, or mature friends who can provide different perspectives and reveal potential blind spots (Prov 9:9, 11:14, 15:22, 20:18, 27:9; Jn 10:4,16). Consider carefully both the words and the lifestyle of those offering advice and spiritual help—determine if they are truly spiritual people living out what they preach.

Do not accept or act on any counsel or advice that is contrary to the commands or principles of the Bible, for wise godly counsel advocates the most God-honoring actions. Let the Word of God speak into every situation, for it is beneficial so we can live righteously (Ps 119:9,11,105; 2 Tim 3:16-17; Tit 2:12). The Bible states, "Blessed are those who do not walk in the counsel of the ungodly..." (Ps 1:1). Because such people "live according to the flesh and have their minds set on what the flesh desires," their advice is influenced by the ungodly nature (Rom 8:5-7).

You are accountable for any advice you act on

Any advice given is only a suggestion, not an order to be obeyed. Thus, there remains the choice whether to respond to the proposition, with the counselee (the one receiving counsel) still accountable for their own actions taken even when acting on the suggestions of others. Become mature and grow in wisdom by seeking guidance for yourself, as continually being dependent on others for direction is not good for either party (Heb 5:12-14).

True Biblical Counseling

Counseling is being a catalyst, empowering people to take responsibility for their own life by providing insight through sound guidelines and godly principles, by asking questions and giving encouragement yet challenging them. Dealing with past issues calls for serious confronting, to correct problems and address areas of weakness, uncovering the 'baggage' that hinders, to enable moving into a greater freedom in what Christ died to purchase for us. This will include prayer to deal with the lies fed into their minds as the result of negative and traumatic experiences that continue to influence and harass. Binding and loosing together with deliverance may also be required to bring lasting release and a greater measure of wholeness into the spirit, soul, and body.

Don't solve the problem for them, solve it with them. We are to speak into each other's lives, as and when necessary, so we are in a sense our brother's keeper (Gen 4:9; Gal 6:1). True Biblical counseling directs clients to Christ and the Word of God, for its goal is not increased self-esteem but sanctification, the growing more into the image of our Saviour. Jesus said, "If you obey my teaching, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free...So if the Son sets you free, you will be truly free" (Jn 8:31-32,36).

Point people to Jesus

The Divine Counselor

A Counselor (one who gives advice or counsel) was one of the many functions or attributes of the coming Messiah, the Christ who after His ministry on earth said He would send the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth and comfort us as well (Isa 9:6; Jn 14:16-17). Always seek the counsel of your Heavenly Father as well as making use of trusted human counseling.

Confidentiality and Personal Responsibility

Private conversations shared in counseling must remain confidential and never become gossip. The Bible teaches that "a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter" (Prov 11:13). When someone shares their struggles and concerns, they are entrusting us with sensitive information that should be protected with wisdom and discretion. Breaking this trust dishonours the person but also undermines the foundation needed for genuine healing and growth.

Sometimes individuals may seek counseling hoping others will solve their problems, rather than taking personal responsibility for their own choices and growth. While we are called to "bear one another's burdens" (Gal 6:2), this does not mean carrying responsibilities that belong to others. Each person must ultimately "work out their own salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil 2:12), taking ownership of their decisions, actions, and spiritual journey. True biblical counseling empowers people to develop the wisdom and strength to handle their own challenges, rather than creating dependency.

Take responsibility, don't transfer it

Often, people simply need someone to listen patiently as they process their thoughts and feelings aloud. Through the act of verbalizing their struggles and being heard with empathy, many discover their own solutions and gain clarity about the path forward. As Proverbs reminds us, "The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out" (Prov 20:5). Sometimes the most valuable counseling involves asking thoughtful questions and providing a safe space for people to explore their own hearts and find the wisdom God has already placed within them.

The Counselor's Boundaries and Self-Care

While counselors should demonstrate genuine empathy and compassion, they must be careful not to carry the emotional weight of others' problems as their own burden. The Bible teaches that each person must bear their own load (Gal 6:5), and counselors need healthy boundaries to maintain perspective and effectiveness. Constantly absorbing others' pain and struggles without proper boundaries can lead to burnout, compassion fatigue, and diminished ability to provide wise counsel. Jesus Himself regularly withdrew to solitary places to pray and recharge (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16), modeling the importance of regularly stepping away from ministry demands to commune with the Father and restore one's soul.

Counselors must prioritize regular self-care through prayer, rest, and personal reflection to maintain the spiritual, emotional, and mental stamina needed for effective ministry. This includes setting appropriate boundaries on their time and emotional availability, seeking their own counsel when needed, and recognizing that they are not the ultimate source of healing—God is. By maintaining proper perspective and boundaries, counselors can offer sustained, wise support without becoming overwhelmed or depleted. Remember that even the most experienced counselor needs guidance and refreshment from the Great Counselor to continue serving others effectively.

Care for yourself so you can care for others

Creating an Action Plan for Lasting Change

Receiving wise counsel is only the beginning—true transformation requires intentional action and ongoing commitment. The Bible teaches that faith without works is dead (Jas 2:17), and similarly, counsel without application leads to repeated cycles of the same struggles. Being "doers of the word, and not hearers only" (Jas 1:22) means translating insight into concrete steps that move us forward in our spiritual journey.

An effective action plan begins with specific, measurable goals based on the guidance received. Instead of vague resolutions, identify particular areas where change is needed and establish clear steps toward growth. For example, if counsel revealed patterns of unforgiveness, create a specific plan to address this—perhaps through daily prayers for those who hurt you, seeking reconciliation where possible, and meditating on Scriptures about forgiveness. The writer of Proverbs reminds us that "the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance" (Prov 21:5), emphasizing that thoughtful planning partnered with faithful execution leads to blessing.

Accountability partners can help ensure follow-through on your action plan. Share your goals with trusted believers who can pray for you, encourage you, and gently confront you when you stray from your commitments. Eccl 4:9-10 teaches that "two are better than one...if either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Regular check-ins with your counselor or mentor can provide the external motivation needed when internal determination wanes. Remember there will be setbacks, but perseverance in the right direction ultimately leads to transformation.

Turn insight into action

Document your progress and celebrate small victories along the way. Keep a journal of how God is working in areas where you've received counsel, noting both challenges and breakthroughs. This creates a testimony of God's faithfulness and reinforces positive momentum. When you see patterns of the same issues recurring, it may indicate that the action plan needs refinement or that deeper spiritual work is required. Don't be discouraged by slow progress—transformation is often gradual, as Scripture reminds us that we are "being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory" (2 Cor 3:18).

Ultimately, your action plan should be anchored in continual dependence on God's grace. While we are called to work out our salvation (Phil 2:12), it is God who works in us both to will and to act according to His good purpose (Phil 2:13). Balance diligent effort with humble reliance on the Holy Spirit's power, recognizing that lasting change comes through divine partnership rather than human effort alone. Regular prayer, Scripture meditation, and worship should fuel your efforts, keeping you connected to the source of all true transformation.

Reflection and Application:

How can you better discern between godly and ungodly counsel in your life?
In what areas do you need to seek more accountability from mature believers?
How can you grow in wisdom while still maintaining personal responsibility for your decisions?
What past issues might be hindering your spiritual growth that need prayerful addressing?