Undisciplined: Living Without Self-Control

An undisciplined life drifts: without self-control, firm boundaries or a worthwhile goal, time is squandered and potential is lost. This article considers the marks of an undisciplined life, why discipline is an expression of love, and how God develops lasting self-discipline in His children.

The Marks of an Undisciplined Life

An undisciplined person is disorganised and lacks self-control, direction and commitment. They frequently have a shortsighted approach to life, squandering their time because they lack the motivation of a worthwhile goal and fail to submit to authority or obey orders. Rather, because their self-nature has not been broken, they live self-centred lives, seeking to gratify their own desires, with little thought for others or the long-term repercussions of their actions, and they seldom accomplish anything of significance (Eph 2:3; Phil 2:4,21).

Are there areas in my life that are undisciplined?

Without clear leadership, there is a natural deterioration of standards, with everyone doing what is right in their own eyes (Jdg 17:6, 21:25). What army wins a war without strict discipline, unquestioning obedience and leadership? It is not pleasant to confront and deal with issues, yet in the long term it is better for everybody. Eli failed to restrain his sons, and they brought judgement upon the whole family (1 Sam 2:12,22-25, 3:13).

Discipline Is an Expression of Love

Children in undisciplined households feel unwanted and unworthy. They lack direction and self-control, and as they get older they rebel and have little or no respect for any kind of authority, including God's. Without loving correction and discipline, a child becomes spoilt and unruly who will find life difficult as they grow up, struggling to submit to authority and believing society is against them, and bring shame on their parents (Prov 22:15, 23:14, 29:15).

If we are not corrected, receiving no discipline, we are not truly loved. God disciplines us, His children, when we need it – for our good, and although unpleasant at the time, it produces desirable qualities (Prov 3:12, 13:24; Heb 12:7-11). Pruning is necessary for a tree to remove disorderly growth and to fulfil its designated purpose of producing fruit, especially for abundant crops (Jn 15:2). The trials of life provide us with many opportunities to develop self-discipline.

How is God's loving discipline shaping me right now?

Becoming a Disciplined Person

The only truly free person is a disciplined person. They are free to do right, for they are not dictated to by their fleshly desires, which lead to sin. Self-imposed restraints are guidelines for successful living (Prov 5:22-23). Those who do not maintain a strong stand against the temptations of Satan will compromise and fall into worldliness. The parental role includes developing a child's ability to manage themselves, moving increasingly from external controls to self-control.

Jesus said being undisciplined in our thought life, such as lustful desires, is just as sinful as the physical act (Mt 5:27-28). What measures will I take to bring my wandering and ungodly thoughts under control? "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Cor 10:5). The responsibility is ours: we must not remain under the control of the 'before we met Christ' mindset. The old sinful ways are to be put off and replaced with the new ways that reflect the Kingdom of God (Eph 4:22-24; Col 3:5-10).

What areas will I address?

Practical steps make self-control attainable. Set a worthwhile goal and review it regularly, for discipline needs a purpose to serve; submit to God and to legitimate authority, practising obedience in small matters (Heb 13:17); and build daily routines of prayer, Scripture and honest work, keeping even the small promises you make.

Discipline grows strongest in company. Give a mature believer permission to question and correct you, and be equally willing to speak truth into their life (Jas 5:16); then review your progress prayerfully at the close of each week, adjusting wherever resolve has slipped, until restraint becomes settled habit.

Two Who Won, One Who Lost

Daniel shows that real discipline is settled in advance. As a young captive in Babylon, he "purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" (Dan 1:8) – long before the king's food was set before him, he had already decided the matter. Because the decision was made beforehand, the pressure of the moment could not move him, and God honoured his resolve with favour and understanding. A pre-decided heart does not have to negotiate with temptation.

What have I settled in my heart before the test comes?

Paul pictures the disciplined life as an athlete's race: "everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things", and so he ran not with uncertainty, disciplining his body and bringing it into subjection, "lest… when I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified" (1 Cor 9:24,27). He knew that gifts and ministry count for nothing if the runner will not train, and that an undisciplined messenger can be set aside no matter how much he has taught others.

Esau stands as the warning example. Exhausted and hungry, he lacked the self-control to wait, and traded his birthright for a single meal (Gen 25:29-34); Hebrews warns us not to follow his profane example, describing a man who, for one moment's appetite, gave away what could never be recovered (Heb 12:16). Undisciplined desire always overpays for what it gets, and often the loss cannot be undone.

Reflection and Application

Begin each day this week with a set time for prayer and Scripture before other demands claim your attention.
Write down the commitments you make and check them at the close of each day.
Ask a trusted friend to name one blind spot, and receive it without becoming defensive.
Memorise one verse this week and use it the moment temptation comes.