Tolerate: Putting Up With Others for a Higher Purpose

Tolerance is one of the most misunderstood virtues of our age. This article looks at what it means to bear with people we disagree with, where tolerance must end, and how to hold loving acceptance and unshakeable conviction together.

What Tolerance Really Means

Tolerance is the ability to endure opinions, behaviour, or people you disagree with or dislike because of a higher and more worthy motive and objective. It has both positive and negative aspects: the same grace that bears with a struggling person can, if left unguarded, quietly excuse what is actually harmful. Tolerance is characterised by humility, patience, consideration and being open-minded towards the personal choices and alternative viewpoints of others, while refraining from interfering or trying to force them to change.

It is having the attitude of, ‘I accept people for who they are without passing judgment on any action or lifestyle choice’. It is dealing gracefully with them, in the same way as we would like them to reciprocate, and not taking offence when it doesn’t happen (Lk 6:31; Rom 14:1-8). A good motto to live by is, ‘in essentials there should be unity, in non-essentials the freedom and liberty of personal persuasion, yet in all things love’.

No one is perfect – including me – so please be considerate

We should have a clear understanding of the truth and live with integrity, knowing we will each one day be answerable before God (Rom 14:10-12) – yet without being dogmatic in our interactions with others. We don’t have to express our views on everything, so hold your convictions firmly but carry them graciously. Remain open to the opinions of other people, recognising it is pointless to engage in serious debate over unanswerable questions (1 Tim 1:4; 2 Tim 2:14,16,23; Tit 3:9).

We should respect the viewpoints of other people with differing interpretations of Bible passages; yet where the Bible is specific – such as on sin and the way to heaven – there is no room for compromise. Its truths are non-negotiable: the clear, uncompromising principles cannot be overridden, excused or bargained away. Although there may be differences on some matters, co-operation with those of other churches is healthy because, Jesus said, if they are not against us they are for us (Mk 9:38-40).

When Tolerance Becomes a Snare

In all matters it is important to maintain standards of integrity fitting for Christians (Ps 101:3,7). Be strongly disciplined, knowing and practising right living, completely intolerant of sin and removing it from our lives so it does not master us. When we tolerate evil, we open the door to all kinds of sinfulness (Num 33:55; Prov 14:22, 21:10, 28:10; Rom 6:12, 8:13; Col 3:5).

The Israelites were required to completely destroy all idols and practices of foreign gods, because what they allowed to remain as novelties and seemingly innocent habits or pastimes would become powerful snares, leading to their downfall – a case of the little foxes destroying the vine, and of the sowing and reaping principle (Deut 7:1-6, 20:17-18; SOS 2:15; Gal 6:7). Don’t give the Devil a foothold, because he will take more and more, creating a stronghold; instead resist him in Jesus’ name (2 Cor 10:5; Eph 4:27; Jas 4:7).

Tolerance leads to acceptance

Heresy is in a category of its own. While we bear patiently with people who simply see things differently, teaching that stands against clear Bible instruction is not a mere difference of opinion to be tolerated – it is a corruption of the faith itself (Gal 1:8-9). Paul named Hymenaeus and Philetus as men whose teaching had spread like gangrene because they said the resurrection had already taken place, upsetting the faith of some (2 Tim 2:17-18). What is tolerated in doctrine does not stay contained; it works its way through the whole body until it is dealt with.

Because of this, Scripture commands a distinct response to heresy: separation. We are to mark those who cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine we have learned, and avoid them (Rom 16:17); to have nothing to do with an argumentative person who persists after warnings, recognising such a one is warped and sinning (Tit 3:10-11); and not to receive into our homes, or even greet, anyone who brings a teaching that does not align with Christ (2 Jn 1:9-11). We are told to turn away from those with a form of godliness but denying its power (2 Tim 3:5), and in the church itself to remove the immoral or divisive person so the whole is not leavened (1 Cor 5:6-7, 11-13). This is not harshness toward people – we still do good to all (Gal 6:10) – but it is a firm refusal to give error a platform, a welcome or an appearance of approval, protecting both the flock and, where possible, the erring one who might yet be restored (Jas 5:19-20).

Tolerance does not require unconditional acceptance

Tolerance and Christian Conviction

When a Christian’s beliefs clash with the standard of tolerance set by society, the Christian is often labeled as intolerant or bigoted; yet ironically, those who claim to be the most tolerant are the least tolerant of the Christian worldview. The truth is that what may be politically correct is so often biblically incorrect. The open-mindedness adopted by the world leaves no room for Christian convictions and the Bible’s standards of right and wrong, for those who believe they “must obey God rather than human beings!” (Act 5:29). In a sinful world that hated Christ, this will naturally lead to some conflict, for a Christian’s convictions do not allow approval of sin whatsoever. We must never tolerate anything that would be harmful to our personal and family values, or which threatens our physical, moral and spiritual health.

When an area of conflict arises we should prayerfully examine our convictions to make sure they are based on what the Bible actually says, rather than personal preferences. We should commit to loving those who hold a different view and do good to them “with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience”, bearing with them and showing forgiveness (Mt 5:38-48; Col 3:12-14). At all times we must demonstrate Christ’s love and righteousness.

Love to guide all our interactions

We can’t be fully effective and come into our full inheritance while tolerating something that is not of God, so “get rid of such things from your life” (Gal 3:30). It is wrong to tolerate wrong and injustice when you can do something about it. The ability to overlook the faults and certain misdemeanours of others, including personal insults, is admirable but can be taken advantage of, so there need to be high standards of conduct, even in church settings, with accountability and, if necessary, confrontation.

Reflection and Application

What opinions, habits or relationships am I tolerating that are quietly weakening my walk with God?
Do I accept people without passing judgment, while still holding to biblical truth?
What sin or injustice in my life do I need to confront and deal with so I can move forward with increased devotion?
How can I show Christ’s love this week to someone whose views differ from mine?