Surrogacy: Carrying a Child for Another

Surrogacy offers hope to those who long for a child, yet it also raises searching moral, social and legal questions that deserve careful, prayerful thought.

What Surrogacy Involves

In medical terms, surrogacy is an arrangement whereby a woman agrees to carry a pregnancy for another person or couple – normally because of infertility issues – who will become the newborn child's parent(s) after birth.

A child is never a commodity, but a gift from God – Psalm 127:3

This highly controversial practice is permitted in some countries and forbidden in others. Regardless of whether there is monetary compensation for the surrogate, there are moral, social and legal issues to be considered, let alone the pain, heartache and confusion that can follow for the birth mother and the child because of the bonding that takes place during pregnancy.

Surrogacy in Bible Times

The Bible records two instances of surrogacy (Gen 16:2, 30:3). In both, a wife struggling with barrenness offered her servant to bear a child on her behalf – and in both, the arrangement brought rivalry, bitterness and lasting pain into the home rather than the peace the families hoped for.

These accounts are descriptive rather than approving: they tell us what happened, not what God commanded. They warn that shortcuts taken around God's design, however well intentioned, carry consequences that no one can foresee.

Seeking God's Wisdom

Scripture honours the deep longing for children (1 Sam 1:10-11,27) and calls believers to weep with those who weep (Rom 12:15). Couples facing infertility need compassion, prayer and honest support, not judgement or easy answers.

Before deciding, pray for wisdom and count the cost – especially for the child

Where surrogacy is being considered, wisdom is essential. God gives wisdom generously to those who ask (Jas 1:5), and plans succeed through many advisers (Prov 15:22). Jesus taught that no one begins building a tower without first sitting down to count the cost (Lk 14:28). Any arrangement must weigh the welfare of the child, the emotional cost to the birth mother, and honest, legally clear commitments between all parties.

Whatever decisions are made, God's grace covers all who turn to Him, and every child conceived is known and loved by their Maker (Ps 139:13-14).

For those who remain unable to have children, the pain can be eased in other ways: adoption opens a home to a child who needs one, and becoming a mother figure in the lives of other children – nieces and nephews, children in the church, or those in need of care – can bring rich purpose and joy as well as comfort.

Reflection and Application

Thank God that every child is fearfully and wonderfully made.
If you know a couple facing infertility, offer them prayerful, practical support without judgement.
If you or someone close to you is considering surrogacy, seek wise counsel and God's guidance before committing.
Pray for birth mothers and children affected by surrogacy, that God would bring them peace and healing.

See also: adoption, barren, bonding, infertility, childless.