Self-Pleasure – When Self-Gratification Comes First

Self-pleasure places personal happiness above every other consideration. This article looks at what drives a self-gratifying outlook, where it leads, and how life can instead be rightly centred on Christ.

The Nature of Self-Pleasure

A self-centred person views everything as to how it will impact them and asks ‘will it bring me happiness?’ There is no concern as to whether it is right or morally acceptable, self-gratification is paramount. God’s opinion is considered irrelevant, as they themselves assume the role of God.

This viewpoint is becoming more prominent in today’s world with people doing what is right in their own eyes, rejecting discipline and throwing off restraints (Jdg 17:6; Prov 15:32, 29:18). They are “loving self and pleasures rather than being lovers of God”, besides living in “luxury and self-indulgence”, regardless of the plight of others (2 Tim 3:4; Jas 5:5).

God’s way contrasts with the world’s

Self-pleasure is sometimes used as a term for masturbation. Like other forms of self-pleasure this is a demeaning practice, for it takes a good and holy gift – sexuality, designed by God to express the ‘one flesh’ union of marriage (Gen 2:24) – and turns it inward, serving the self rather than honouring Him or blessing a spouse. It does not appreciate God’s intended purpose for sexuality, which Scripture reserves for the marriage covenant where it is guarded, mutual and life-giving (1 Cor 7:3-5; Heb 13:4).

At its root, this practice is fleshly desire taking priority: the appetites of the body are allowed to dictate, while the Spirit’s leading is set aside (Rom 8:5-8; Gal 5:16-17). What begins as a private indulgence quietly trains the heart to seek satisfaction on its own terms, apart from God’s design, and each surrender to the flesh weakens the conscience and strengthens the habit (1 Pet 2:11). The way of escape is not mere willpower but a mind renewed and affections set on things above, deliberately fleeing youthful lusts and pursuing righteousness in the company of others (Rom 12:2; 1 Cor 10:13; Col 3:2; 2 Tim 2:22).

The Fruit of Self-Pleasure

Self-pleasure puts self at the forefront of our attention, crowding out the obligation that God says comes first – to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mk 12:30). When self occupies the seat of honour, every decision is filtered through the question ‘what will satisfy me?’ rather than ‘what will honour Him?’ The affections and energy that belong supremely to God are quietly diverted to personal enjoyment, and devotion to Christ is reduced to whatever is left over after our own appetites have been fed.

To be clear, caring for our bodies and meeting their legitimate requirements is not sinful – rest, nourishment and wholesome enjoyment are gifts from God to be received with thankfulness (1 Tim 4:4-5). But there is a world of difference between responsible care and self-indulgence: we are to glorify God in our bodies, not gratify their every impulse (1 Cor 6:19-20). Indulging in ungodly practices is not right, for it hands the body over to desires it was never meant to rule us by and makes a good gift into an idol (Rom 13:14; Gal 5:16).

We need an accurate perspective

Looking after self and indulging its passions is the focus of many people. Their consciences (which have sent out warning signals of ‘this is not right’ prior to an action and followed up with guilt afterwards) have been overridden countless times and no longer function in their moral monitoring role. The arrogant attitude, ‘I’m alright and that is all that matters’ dominates, but they little realize their peril (Rev 3:17).

Self-pleasure normally only considers the present – it does not think about the impact this will have at a future time. It is only concerned with the here and now, and hopes the future will turn out OK. It is a shortsighted approach. Wisdom teaches we must prepare for the future. The rich fool who considered life revolved around him was only interested in his own wellbeing, not how he could bless other people with a portion of his resources (Lk 12:15-21).

The Cure for Self-Pleasure

While pleasure and having nice things is not a sin, giving them a higher priority than is warranted and making self-comfort our god is – because it gives us and our interests priority over God and His Kingdom (Ex 20:3; Mk 12:30). As Christians, our focus should be on Christ; life should not revolve around us but Him who loved us and gave Himself for us (Rom 14:8; Gal 1:4; Col 1:16; Tit 2:14; Rev 4:11). Consequently as we have ‘abundance’ in Him, are we concerned enough for the lost to ‘give away’ Christ to them so they can know Him personally and come into eternal blessing also?

What are my true priorities?

Reflection and Application:

Ask honestly: in my decisions this week, is my happiness or God’s honour the deciding factor?
Name one comfort or pleasure that has crept above God in your priorities, and take a practical step to surrender it to Him.
Set aside a portion of your time or resources this week to bless someone else before attending to your own comforts.
Memorise Mk 12:30 – “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” – and measure your priorities against it each morning.