<<hit back>>

When taken advantage of, humiliated or hurt, the human nature (flesh) wants to
respond in the same manner because of the resultant bitterness and hatred, yet this
often backfires causing the instigator the harm that was intended for another, so don’t give yourself a ‘staggering burden’ of consequences caused by retaliating in any way

What causes me to feel vengeful? How can I better handle it?

(1 Sam 25:29-31,39; Est 5:14, 7:10, 9:24,25; Ps 9:15,16, 57:6). Often our first reaction when wronged is to get even (a selfish carnal response) but Jesus asks us to act in a radical way, operating in the opposite spirit, by “Doing to them what you would they do for you” (Lk 6:31). Even though life isn’t always fair, let God sort out the issues. It’s our responsibility to show love and reflect the nature of the Kingdom of God, by “Blessing instead of cursing” not paying back wrong for wrong (Mt 5:38-44; Rom 12:9-21; 1 Thes 5:15; 2 Thes 1:6; 1 Pet 3:9). Instead do the most loving thing towards them, without keeping a record of wrongs or holding grudges (1 Cor 13:4,5).

‘Settling the score’ can lead to a chain reaction and even escalate into spiteful behaviour. Mature people with a deep relationship with God have learned to forgive (Eph 4:32).

Is there a wrong attitude that I need to deal with?

Forgiveness shows strength of character, reduces the harmful effects of conflict and may lead to reconciliation, instead of the situation getting out of control as emotionally hurting people try to get even (Jdg 14:19-15:16).

Joseph, David and Jesus did not retaliate or take revenge when they were unfairly treated (Gen 50:15-21; 1 Sam 24:8-19, 26:23; 1 Pet 2:23). As he was being stoned to death Stephen uttered words of mercy and forgiveness when he said, “Lay not this sin to their account” (Act 7:60).

See also: anger, attitude, bitterness, flesh, forgive/forgiveness, golden rule, opposite spirit, reaction, response, retaliation, vengeance.