Pride, wrong desires and attitudes are the root cause of quarrels, along with a lack of clear communication, failure to understand the circumstances, and intolerance (Prov 13:10; Jas 4:1).  Nothing constructive is achieved when human nature becomes aggressive with blame and frustration because of

How can two walk together unless they                                       be agreed? – Amos 3:3

disappointment and self not-being-ministered-to is directed at another as the emotions get out of hand (Prov 15:18, 17:14). Don’t argue over unimportant things – it is not only useless but can also be harmful (2 Tim 2:14,23; Tit 3:9). In a short time the issue will be forgotten but the wounding of the words lingers. The Bible counsels to resolve disputes quickly before they grow out of proportion and cause great damage (Mt 5:5; Eph 4:26). 

Living with others will often create tension and stress although some people are particularly argumentative. When physically tired, hungry, feeling insecure or having been emotionally hurt because we have been ignored there is more likelihood of this negativity being directed at others through criticism and fault-finding. Do not vent your problems or moods on others; controlling your own self is more desirable than external exploits (Prov 16:32). If matters need discussing it is important to choose the right time. Honest, cool-headed discussion leads to wisdom or at least an understanding of the other’s point of view.  Spoken with humility a soft answer turns away anger (Prov 15:1). Words have the power to cause deep wounds resulting in division, or to heal bringing restoration (Prov 18:21).

Paul and Barnabas had such a sharp disagreement about their traveling partner that they separated and formed two teams (Act 15:36-41). Mark, who Paul did not want to take, later became vital to Paul’s ministry (Col 4:10). There are different ways of looking at things and Christians do not

Use self-control to keep your mouth shut                                                  – Proverbs 29:11

always agree, yet by maintaining a right attitude problems can be solved by agreeing to disagree and letting God work His will out.

Paul also confronted Peter over a doctrinal issue which, if it had not been dealt with, could have resulted in a wrong belief invading the emerging church (Gal 2:11-21). Although there is no record of a quarrel, Paul addressed this matter to clear up the wrong stance being taken. Thus, in matters where Biblical principles are being compromised, the people involved must be made aware of the situation regardless of who they are, as their influence can spread and affect many. The aim is to bring both restoration and adherence to the truth. Paul instructed Timothy to correct and rebuke people through careful instruction, for one of the purposes of the Bible is to train in righteousness (2 Tim 3:16, 4:2-4). As truth must be maintained, do not to be afraid to confront because of the possible adverse reaction.

“Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker…” (Isa 45:9). What an absurd futile exercise!

 See also: communication, conflict, confront, debate, dispute, provocation, resolve/resolution, self-control, unity, words.


Copyright © 2023 Bible Dictionary. All rights reserved. Website design by fuel.